Cleaning is not something one does because one wants to.  Our inner five-year-olds rebel against it, pouting in corners, stomping feet, wailing “after I beat this monster!” or “lemme just finish this one thing online.”  But we know better.  These are tactics to get our brains to shut up so we can have more candy, or to get nagging roommates to leave us be while we glut on video games.

Then along comes a deadline like a big black spider.  Here is a project that wants your attention.  Those documents have to be done by November 7th, that paper is due on the 8th.  Suddenly, that broom leaps into your hand, and you Disney-dance with it all through the kitchen.  Suddenly, your bedroom floor is not only visible, but clear as a bright winter sky.  Suddenly all the laundry is washed and folded and put away.  The sink is empty of dishes and the counters sparkle.  Even the bathroom glimmers.

You, my friend, are a dirty ignorganizer.  To avoid investing your precious efforts into one big push and to turn aside that inner voice calling you a lazy lump, you have mastered the art of ignorganization, putting off important tasks by way of cleaning.  Those reports need to be on a desk by tomorrow?  Don’t get in front of the computer, rearrange your work area!  Have a Halloween costume you still need to make?  Don’t sew; organize your gardening supplies!  You can even use your powers on related tasks, gaining even more deflective credibility: big trip coming up?  Instead of actually preparing, clean the car instead.  You’ll need the space, right?  Even though the car is going to sit at the airport for a week, or get driven back home by your friend, you need a place to put all your one bag that the airline still allows you to carry on.  You’ll thank yourself later.

I know you all have tasks to avoid, so I’m going to let you finish your ignorganizing in peace.

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