A Theory of Energy

You may have noticed that my “About” page no longer states that I update Thursdays and Sundays. An even better sign of what’s afoot is the fact that I’ve followed through with this change, and have only been updating in Thursdays. The reason is simple. I haven’t had enough energy. 

Energy is a limited resource. Now, I’m not talking about some airy-fairy notion of crystals or magick or etheric vibrations, but instead the hard concepts if time, focus, and the all important fuel, glucose. The stuff your brain burns directly whenever you make a decision or work on a problem. No, I haven’t had enough of that stuff lately.

And I could tell you about all the things that have attached wicks to my little ball of wax, brightly consuming all my parrafin: the paring down of my stuff, the getting ready for a move that might not happen, the fighting off of inner demons, the climbing out of wells… but going into greater depth feels like it would just be an excuse.

I don’t need to make an excuse. I need to monitor what I’m spending energy on. I need to be careful with my focus, and gentle with myself. I need address the needs at hand, which are to work at my craft and make sure I’m at a certain level of okay-ness.

Which brings me to the real heart of the issue: how do you divert your energy? Because every day, I see the signs of people around me becoming less and less well due to how they focus their efforts, spending far too much time on things which are social “obligations” or unreasonable standards they’ve set for themselves, and not nourishing their creativity, not nourishing their bodies, and trying to simply power through their days because they somehow “should.” Instead, breathe. Eat. Tuck away unplanned time. Take an hour just to daydream. Take a nap. You can’t live your whole life in fight or flight readiness if you want it to be longer than short.

In other words, spend some of your energy on you. That’s a piece of advice it’s about time I took to heart.

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