Wanted: Bona-fide male muse
Must meet all the standard muse characteristics expected of the female of the species: uncritical, non-judgemental, with extremely good looks and extreme passivity. Impishness a plus. May engage in creative endeavors of his own, but must not expect to be taken seriously. Must also cook.
Tasks include: bolstering of my fragile ego, unwavering support of my art, sexual favors, constant emotional availability, cleaning up my artistic space (but never after a work in progress), caring for my physical needs while I’m on a creative binge (i.e. ensuring I eat while enraptured, providing me with enough coffee and cigars, finding the right balance between insisting I sleep and letting me stay up late into the night to work on my endeavors).
Compensation will be meted out in the form of poems and dedications, and in the infrequent mention of his goodness and virtue to my friends before we discuss topics of real import.